We've Moved!

After some deliberation we've decided to move our blog over to:

WWW.FAMILYSWIFT.TK

The rest of the information is over there, as is a new post! 

-Annie

75%

30 weeks gone.

We are currently at the 30 week mark (or 75% of the way through) and I can't believe it's been such an outrageously long time since I updated the blog.  Partly due to being very busy and partly down to laziness, in all honesty.

I recently got a promotion at work, which took up focus for a while.  Quite exciting if not only because it'll mean more money for the family.  However it doesn't mean a better chair, so I'm stuck with one with no sense of direction - which means more clattering into filing cabinets - keeping it real.

Also the 29th July was mine and Annie's first anniversary.  It seems like yesterday that we were saying our vows, standing behind the drunken town crier and walking down the cobbled streets of Rye, past crashed cars to our reception.  To celebrate we had a 2 night break in a little B&B all the way over in Biddenden (14 miles away).  After a slightly rocky start, which involved arriving at the B&B 45 minutes before the owner, we had a lovely time looking out over the wheat fields (stupid wheat) and pottering around, looking at the fish etc.  In traditional style we took a trip to an animal sanctuary and had a lovely time.

Annie & I at Barclay Farmhouse B&B.

Since the beginning of August I've developed an obsession with the Olympics.  In true Englishman style my attitude was: "It'll be crap", "London will be too busy", "Who cares who wins anyway" right up until the last minute...then I watched 5 minutes...and then I was hooked (much to Annie's dismay).  Therefore the Olympics has been on in our house all the time I've been home and eventually Annie got into it as well (mostly the athletics).  After watching the 100m last night I'm pleased that Vega will be born when Ussain Bolt is the fastest man in the world - he is a laugh.

On a slightly more ranty tangent associated with the Olympics; it has been my desire for a long time to get into sport just to get some more exercise and as a bit of an "outlet".  It is unbelievably difficult to get into sport in this country and it actually makes me quite angry.  If you can find a sports club near you it will be probably be too expensive to join, if it isn't too expensive to join it'll probably be snobby and want you to have experience in whatever area of sport you choose.  I seem to be on the brink of getting some tennis coaching, which is quite exciting.  I will definitely encourage Vega to get into sport when she's little, as I didn't really try with PE at school (too many bigger boys).  I will try not to be a pushy parent.

Vega's rock baby nappy.

Nursery coming along nicely.

There's not been a huge amount going on in the baby department.  Annie and I have purchased a few second hand pieces to add to our baby collection but are nearly there with what we need.  Therefore it's just adding slowly to what is there and planning for when the baby is born.  We already had a go at making up a supply bag for the hospital including clothes for the baby, clothes for us, toiletries and food.  But what do you do when you've not been to the supermarket for a while and you're in desperate need of a snack?  You tuck into the hospital supplies. It's been such a long time since I wrote a blog that I have failed to post a picture of Vega's custom nappy - only for the most rock n' roll of babies.

Bouncer for £12 second hand - rather
than £55 new.

We have been, however taking the opportunity to make the house a little more homely.  We have got around to putting up some artwork we had sitting around and Annie has had the paintbrushes out for some nice bird portraits.  It may not be so easy to do all of these things once we have a baby and it's important to feel like you're in your own home.

Vega's first custom artwork.

Speaking of things you can't do when the baby is around, Annie and I visited the Cinema for the first time since we found out we were pregnant and from one of the most important movie franchises ever (Star Wars) to another (Batman).  There was no chance I was not going to see The Dark Knight Rises but for some reason Vega seemed a little bit afraid of Bane's voice - can't imagine why.

Annie's favourite baby outfit (we like
dinosaurs in our house).

Unfortunately for Annie, the cinema at 30 weeks pregnant isn't as easy as it was at 5 weeks pregnant.  That can add to the list of eating, sleeping and walking around which also seem to have got much harder further down the line.  At 30 weeks there's almost light at the end of the tunnel which just increases the delicious blend of excitement and terror.  Not that I'm scared of being a father but (as I've said to Annie) babies' little floppy heads are terrifying.  Other than that, I'm bursting with excitement - although I think it's time for people to stop asking when we're having the next one.

This weekend we are visiting Annie's Nan, Uncle, Aunt and Cousins in Reading.  Next week is the start of antenatal classes - lots to look forward to.

The nursery

The new cot and ever evolving mural and
new lamp shade.

This weekend we thought we'd try and make some advancements on the nursery as it was feeling quite far from completion.  Unfortunately we weren't very happy with the cot that we had as it was quite dirty and hard to clean.  Also with our shallow hats on, we thought it was a bit plain.  We found a second hand cot nearby that was in need of a bit of clean (but is painted, and so a bit easier) and arranged to collect it Saturday night.

Unfortunately we were also not entirely happy with the purple wardrobe that we had bought as it couldn't really sustain the weight of anything on the shelves and there were some rips in the fabric.  We decided that a proper wardrobe was our best bet.  We decided to go where everyone goes to get furniture...Ikea.  If there was ever a place to put you off being a parent, it's Ikea.  Sorry Vega but if we need to go to Ikea, you're not coming.  I'm fairly certain if you took a group of children to a Cadbury factory, they wouldn't get so excited.

The filled wardrobe.

Armed with a new wardrobe, a cot bumper and a quilt we returned home from Lakeside *shudder* about half 7 and night, and went to collect the cot.  Sunday morning we got to cleaning the cot and were really pleased with the results, then assembled the wardrobe and then assembled the cot.  The result is a room that is beginning to look quite a bit more like a nursery, which makes us feel much more prepared.

As well as this we've bought a couple of job lots of baby clothes (less than £1 an item) second hand ranging from 0 to 9 months.  Some of it is a little more girly than we would pick for ourselves but at least we're doing OK for clothes now.

Wardrobe from the outside.

Annie and I filmed ourselves talking about the pregnancy for  the documentary which was quite fun and has been well received by the people making it, so we'll try and get round to doing some more.

Other than that, everything seems to be going well with the pregnancy although Annie is slightly paranoid that her bump isn't as big as other people she's seen around.  I reassure her that they are probably more advanced than her.  One of the women we saw must have been having twins (she was massive).  I've also noticed an increase in the amount of times Annie says "I'm going to have to give birth" to me, so that's clearly hitting her a bit as well.

Last weekend I was reading a few chapters of "Fantastic Mr. Fox" to Vega and she was kicking when I did the voices of Boggis, Bunce and Bean.  I'm kicking myself for not finding the time to do it this weekend, but we have been very busy.  We're definitely going to get some more Roald Dahl  books before her arrival (don't think I could get sick of reading them).

Quite a tiring weekend but at least the Sunday night Chinese takeaway was well earned.

It's really hitting me...

As per usual it's been ages since I managed a post - just seem to be really busy.

In general, at the moment Annie and I are getting very excited about meeting our little girl, as well as feeling a little terrified about not being ready at the moment.  We still need some real essentials like mattress for the cot and moses basket, bedding, pram etc. but I'm trying to tell Annie that we'll get there before she gets here (even if it is only 3 pay-days before the little one is likely to arrive).

Unfortunately today I've been feeling quite angry as I had previously believed that paternity leave was 2 weeks paid at 90% of your wage.  Turns out UK legislation regarding father's rights is actually pretty tight as far as European countries go and that I'm actually only entitled to £135 per week for 2 weeks.  It looks like I will be losing out on 2 weeks I was looking forward to there.  Luckily I've managed to save my holiday so that I have 3 weeks off as well as 3 days for the birth, so at least I get to see my little girl for a little while.  Unfortunately it's just another example of Dad's being left behind.

I was recently contacted about an opportunity to take part in a self-filmed documentary about expecting parents, which is very exciting and Annie and I are hoping to get a start on recording some stuff this weekend.  We thought it sounded like fun as it's aiming to show a different side to younger couples.  I think it'll be nice to see some young parents on TV that aren't on the Jeremy Kyle Show and other such negative coverage.

Every time I think the fact that we're having a baby feels "real" something else happens that makes it seem more "real".  The first time that I saw her on a scan and she was just a tiny little bean I thought "wow that's her...it's really hitting me now".  The next time that we had a scan and I could see her little face, I thought "wow you can see that it's a little person growing in there...it's really hitting me now".  When we had a 3D scan and we found out we were having a girl I thought "now we know the sex and name and everything...it's really hitting me now".  I get the same thought every time she kicks me (I particularly like putting my face on Annie's belly and getting a little kick in the face, for some reason).  Now it's getting to the stage that we're trying to get the baby room a little more in order, we're thinking about all the things we want to do when she's around and we're buying our sling to carry her around and Annie's bump is hard to miss...it's really hitting me now.  I really wonder what the next thing will be that makes me think that thought.  Those moments make me really happy so I hope there's plenty more to come.

For months I've been getting well ahead of myself and worrying about what I'm going to do if Vega has a boyfriend I don't like when she's a teenager or if she even thinks about smoking, things like that.  One step at a time I think.  It seems unwise to count down until her arrival as she could turn up early or late (probably late if she's a Swift) but it's just over 3 months until she's here and I'm very excited.

Busy-ness

It's been a long time since I managed a blog post.  Everything seems a bit hectic at the moment.

Auntie Beth and her best Top Gun impression.

Last Sunday my Dad took me and the sister-in-law flying for her birthday.  The weather had been looking terrible all week but thankfully we got almost completely ideal conditions, which was a bit of luck.  The plan was to drive her back to London afterwards in order to collect her old cot (hers as in her son's not hers as if in she's a bit nuts and sleeps in a cot).  This seemed like a stroke of genius as everyone benefited from it.  Unfortunately there were queues on the M25 (I'm going to blame Thatcher, for convenience), so we decided to chance driving through London, from East to West.  The first problem is the amount of time this takes even when there's only light traffic.  The second problem is that I've got a nauseous wife and a hyperactive sister-in-law on board.  Therefore there was lots of pointing and speculation about the living standards of various parts of East London (all shit, if you were wondering).

Anyway we arrived pretty late and spoke with Annie's mum for a bit before going to collect the cot, by which time it was approaching 10 o'clock.  I don't want to compromise my hardcore, rock n' roll partying image but I'm not confident of being able to drive an hour and 45 minutes on the motorway at 10 o'clock at night without feeling very tired.  With this in mind we decided that we would stay in a Premier Inn (ironic name, I think) for the night and drive home in the morning.  When we get to there the receptionist says it's going to be £81 for the night!  Apparently if you book via the website it's cheaper so she advises that if we have a smart phone it's probably worth popping online and reserving now (not having a smart phone is it's own punishment, so I don't need this).  Unfortunately there's not a whole lot that you can do so we paid up.  Now, the adverts from Premier Inn boast that you are: (1) guaranteed a good night's sleep and (2) everything is premier but the price.  While it wasn't a bad night's sleep it doesn't change the fact that nodding off in the first place is difficult with paper thin walls and a noisy family next door (spose there are worse things you could hear in a hotel).  The price however was pretty premier for what you get.

A sample of the work at WillowsCornerArt.

Fortunately I can't quibble about the price too much as my talented little missus has been earning a few bob by doing portraits and initials/nameplates (http://www.facebook.com/WillowsCornerArt/info).  I'm very proud of her enterprising ways and she's been doing amazingly with it.

We are still trying to get the baby room in shape and the most recent step is to get Vega her own wardrobe for diddy clothes.  I would highly recommend the canvas wardrobe for Dunelm Mill.  It was a steal at £12 although to be honest it takes a few days for the foul smell of the wipe-downable fabric to disappear.

Already got her own wardrobe.

We would also quite like to have a go at co-sleeping with Vega.  I think the plan is to "side-car" the cot to our bed and then she can also sleep in our bed if she falls asleep in feeding or if we bring her in, in the morning.  Now we have had to make some sacrifices for this.  We have got to sacrifice our double bed for a king size and therefore sacrifice our crappy old £100 mattress with horrible springs for a nice new fancy one (don't say we don't do anything for you Vega).  Anyway my ever generous grandparents are coming over to purchase the new mattress for us this weekend and my lovely mum bought us a new bed frame.  This arrived yesterday and we decided to put it together last night.  Needless to say this took a good 2 hours or more and involved a handful of petty flatpack squabbles (we've never had a flatpack that didn't).  It seemed a good idea to assemble the new bed frame before the mattress arrived, so we now have a double mattress on a king-size bed.  Luckily we don't get a lot of visitors so we won't look like morons to anyone but ourselves.

There's not a lot of activities involving Vega at the moment, until the ante-natal classes (I imagine there'll be some content there), I still can't get over how strong her kicking is.  There's nothing more relaxing in the morning when you're half asleep than reaching over and putting a hand on the missus' bump and feeling a massive kick.  However, I think it's probably less relaxing when you're carrying a baby and she's doing her best Vinnie Jones impersonation on your bladder when you're trying to get to sleep.  Annie attempted to stop her ante-emetic medication but it lead to her being sick and feeling nauseous more, so she's back on that.  Other than that, this is the what they call the enjoyable bit of the pregnancy.  I know I'm certainly enjoying it so far.

Nesting

Annie's talent at work.

Generally it has been a quiet week, but I am regularly able to feel some good boots from the little one.  She does, however, still have a tendancy to kick mummy's bladder around like a rugby ball and then act all good-as-gold when I put my hand on Annie's belly.

Annie and I seem to have developed our nesting instincts a little this week and had a big tidy up this weekend (which is regrettably a blue-moon event) and managed to get rid of 3 bin-bags of clothes.  A fantastic achievement.  As well as this Annie was inspired to paint a mural (or Murial if you're Nanna Swift) on Vega's bedroom wall, which I think looks amazing, and has prompted some commissions in exchange for reusable nappies for Annie.

We also plan to get a kiddie wardrobe for all her clothes quite soon - this one from Dunelm Mill.  Unfortunately it's a choice between blue, pink and black.  Blue seems to be least offensive and with a bit of tarting up should tie in nicely with the Murial.  Soon it'll be time to start thinking about moving all the breakable stuff from toddler grabbing height.  We've also settled on the sort of mattress we want for Vega's cot.  As we're spending little on the pram and getting our cot for nothing, we decided it was worth splashing some cash on a more expensive mattress.

Mum, Dad & Vega.

The growing bump.

As we're progressing into the second half of the pregnancy Annie seems to be expanding a little more rapidly, around an inch or 2 in a week is pretty impressive.  The next step in the pregnancy to really look forward to is being "viable".  Because of all the movement from Vega and her love (or hatred, but I want to think love) of Mum and Dad singing Bohemia Rhapsody to her, it is easy to forget that if for some reason she was born now her chances of survival would be small.  24 weeks is the point where survivability improves dramatically, so hopefully that'll be a nice bit of comfort.  But for the moment my main objective is to calm Mrs. Swift's shopping spree desires.  We have decided on the pram we want and are waiting until a more appropriate time to get it ordered.  We settled on a cheaper model than intended, as we're planning to carry the wee lass as much as possible - and some of the prams you see around are a closer relative of Optimus Prime than of a pushchair.

Petit Star City Bug - The pram we've chosen.

Continuing with our hippyfying at the moment, I've decided to basically cut meat out of my diet (can't live without fish) after watching a hideous PETA video (I should have known better), featuring Sir Paul McCartney (thanks Macca).  Not too sure if we will follow this diet for Vega when she gets to the right time, I'll have to see how being a pescatarian  coeliac goes for a while.

Jubilee weekend

If there's one thing the royal family are good for it's getting an extra bank holiday.  And if there's one thing bank holiday are good for it's crap weather.  Not to let it dampen our weekend we decided to go shopping for some maternity clothes on Saturday, and we did a spot of relative visiting on Sunday.

Annie and the bump in the lovely dress
I picked.

As it's (meant to be) approaching summer and Annie's bump is only getting bigger it seemed a good idea to get some bump friendly clothes in.  So I think Annie can be happy with her haul of 4 dresses, 2 vests and a pair of shorts.  I don't think myself some kind of Gok Wan fashion guru but I think I did well in choosing this dress.  Of course there was a little room in the budget for some stuff for little Vega.

Vega has been very active recently but I've not really been able to feel a good kick due to the fact that: (a) I always get distracted by something and miss it and (b) a warm hand on the bump seems to make her stop.  Annie has been exclaiming for about a week that she can actually see the movements now.  She'd not been moving a great deal on Saturday until we sat down to watch the final of 'The Voice' - dumbfounded that Leanne won but nevermind.  Nothing seems to get my little girl moving like some music.  Unfortunately the tunes that seem to get her moving are a beautiful but sad and wholly in appropriate song by Ed Sheeran, the new Katy Perry song that I don't particularly care for and...Justin Bieber (that's right the "Baby, baby, baby, oooh!" one).  Anyway Ed Sheeran was performing and Vega was enjoying her own little in utero disco and I felt a couple of good kicks and saw one or two as well.

Some pictures of our animals and Vega's
initials Annie drew during the week for
the baby room.

Sunday was pretty grim as far as weather was concerned but we drove down to Bexhill to see the family.  Somehow my Grandad had managed to keep his trap shut and hadn't told my Nan that we'd even managed to find out the sex of the baby - the last thing she knew, we were all gutted because of the meany sonographer.  Before we told her she was convinced it would be Adrian, but was not disappointed to hear that it was Vega. She decided I should tell my aunt so she called her (and chatted about nothing and everything for 20 minutes) and I told her the sex and name.  It's nice that she's been quite interested in everything that's going on as we don't normally speak that much.

Next stop was Annie's step mum.  Lovely and easy to talk to though she is, she is a very difficult customer being the only person who doesn't want to know the sex.  When you are attached to your baby and you constantly refer to her as she/her/Vega it's not difficult to make a slip in conversation.  Couple this with the inevitable desire to blurt it out just because someone doesn't want to know and you've got a very tricky situation.  Somehow we both managed to revert back to calling the bump "it" for the few hours we were there.  I think we may have to limit the amount of time we see her before Vega arrives.

Other clothes accumulated over time.  My favourite being
the "Little Nipper" tee.  Annie is particularly happy about
the Christmas outfit.

After that was dinner with my parents.  Annie struggles a bit in restaurants at the moment, they seem to be a difficult place for a pregnant lady.  There's a bump at about table level so you can't get that close and they often have funny chairs and are quite warm.  Despite this we had a laugh as we usually do - mostly at the man sitting behind us who sounded a bit like a Bond villain and kept trying to make jokes with the waitress, and the fact that my Dad had Turkish coffee which couldn't look more like mud.

Having not kicked a great deal on Sunday, Vega has been going for it this morning.  Annie and I sat around in bed feeling kicks and looking at kicks, it's mad just how much impact she can make at this stage.  Whilst I never got stressed when I couldn't feel or see the kicks it's quite magical when you do get to feel them.  Not being the child bearer it is about the closest that you can get to your baby and I think it really does feel like having a connection to her.  Annie had £4 to spend out of her maternity budget but naturally this got spent on one of those little bears that's holding a blanket that babies have.  Inevitably I also saw some clothes I liked and ended up buying them for my little girl.  I suppose she'll be demanding money for clothes at some point in her life so I suppose I might as well get used to it now.

Clothes I couldn't resist buying.

Vega's bear blanket toy.

Vega Rose Swift.

Upon waking on Saturday morning Annie had reconsidered her position on not knowing the sex of the baby to: "I must know the sex of my baby".  I have to agree that when so many people do get to find out the sex of their baby, it is hard to take when someone tells you that you can't.  So given that I was desperate to know (and I'm a sucker for an unhappy wifey), I thought I may as well see if it was possible to get a private scan.

I gave a call to our local private scanning place and asked what sort of notice they normally need for a gender scan.  When told that the normal wait is 2 weeks I was quite worried that: (a) it would be an unbearable amount of tension if waiting 2 weeks and (b) how on earth do you tell an upset pregnant lady that she has to wait that long. Fortunately she said that someone had cancelled at 10:30 on Sunday 27th May (thank you whoever you are).

Unfortunately I get a little apprehensive when I'm in a position where I know something big is going to happen and constantly bombard Annie with "Do you think they'll see on this attempt?",  "What if they can't tell on this attempt, and they can't tell on the next one?", "how likely is it the baby will be in the right position 2 days later?".  I imagine this gets a little testing at times.

Roll on the next morning (and Annie waking me up at 3am and talking to me for half an hour, mostly out of excitement) and my Mum confirms that she'll be able to make it over to Ashford to take advantage of the fact that you're allowed visitors in the scan.  We drove down the scanning studio - nice and early - and sat around waiting outside.  The 2 ladies that run the place turned up nice and promptly and led us upstairs to the studio, which is a nice mix of professional and personal.

We were led into the scanning room and Annie hopped straight up onto the bed, "Dad" and "Nan" were directed to their seats (I get a special one cuz I'm so important :D).  The equipment looked a lot more flash than the NHS stuff (as I suppose it would if your business is to make money out of it).  The technician got going and within about 30-40 seconds announced that it was a girl, producing a huge Cheshire cat grin on Annie's face.  As well as the unabated joy of finding out that I was going to be a father to a baby girl, it was also nice to be shown the bladder, kidneys and heart of the baby as well (which is something we were not afforded in our NHS scan).

The next part was the "4D" scan (which I always thought was misleading; as in my experience 4D is the sort of thing you get at Disneyland where there's a film shown in 3D and when there is an earthquake on the screen, your seat rumbles.  In the world of scanning a 4D scan is basically a moving 3D scan).

When presented with other peoples 3D pictures, I never quite understood the appeal and pretty much thought that it was no more special than a regular 2D scan.  However when they switch the scanner over to 3D and you can see the contours of your baby's face, when they open their eyes and mouth and if they grab their foot with their hands and put it near their head (all of the above), a 3D scan is pretty magic and makes you feel that much closer to your unborn child.

Baby Vega having a yawn and
having a stretch.

So although I am disappointed that we didn't get to find out the sex of our baby at our anomaly scan - despite the fact that you can obviously find out the sex when the baby is in breech position (I think the sonographer was just miserable and didn't make the effort) - it was great to see the baby again, in 3D, and be shown all the body parts, find out the gender and to do it all in a friendly, welcoming and relaxing environment.  I would definitely recommend a gender scan, if you can.  And if you live near Ashford I would definitely recommend Baby Scan Studio.  I should also thank my Mum (again) for volunteering to pay for it as it really has made us very, very happy bunnies.  Thanks Mum.

Our perfect little girl, asleep.

So I give you Baby Vega.  She's my daughter and I love her!

The big day!

Today is the day!  Today is the day we have been waiting for since we found out we were pregnant in week 5.  Today is the day we find out the gender...or not as it turns out.

We have known since well before we even started trying for a baby that we wanted to know the sex when it came to the 20 week scan. 

We got to the hospital, just about on time, and found our way to the ultrasound room - the nice air conditioned ultrasound room (it was 24 degrees C outside).  After about 20 minutes of prodding the nurse declared that she had everything she needed and that as she had been saying all along, the baby is sitting on its bum and therefore is not allowing us to see if it's a boy or girl.

Initially Annie and I were incredibly disappointed that we couldn't tell what sex the baby was and were contemplating where we could find eighty-odd quid for a private gender scan.  I quickly came to the realisation thought, that I had been looking forward to the wrong thing.  All this time I had been thinking about going for our gender scan, whereas what I should have been looking forward to was an anomaly scan; and that's exactly what we got.  The results of our anomaly scan were all normal and perfectly healthy - although as it turns out also with quite a big head.

However we were still feeling a little deflated, but went to meet with my Mum and Nan in Tenterden.  We had a bit of a talk and a soft drink.  In a rather expensive baby shop my Mum bought us our first cuddly for the baby and my Nan bought us a lovely romper suit with green animals on it.  It was nice to get some good unisex clothes and certainly helped alleviate our disappointment.

By the early evening we had come around to idea of not knowing what sex we are having.  Apart from anything it means that we won't get loads of pink or blue clothes (a bit of a crusade that we're on :P) but hopefully more like the ones we have already.  It has also reaffirmed that we are happy to have a boy or a girl and that we are happy with our name choices - we will either have Vega Rose Swift or Adrian Frances Reginald Swift - I think that using my Grandparent's middle names in our child's means quite a lot to them.  

 

As well as the goings on today, it is also very nearly the half way point.  To think that we are 20 weeks into the pregnancy is very exciting (as well as a little scary).  As the time is flying by, we are starting to think more about when the REALLY BIG DAY arrives.  Annie is very passionate about having a water-birth and avoiding an epidural - which I am right behind.  Unfortunately the maternity led unit, the place that does the water births around here is under renovation and so we've got our fingers crossed that it will reopen in time, but Annie will talk it over with the midwife Thursday.

Annie is starting to pop out now and is looking particularly gorgeous and radiant, which happily coincides with the sunshine and bright summer clothes, and I finally got my compost bin (strangely happy with that) and Stephen finally got kicked off of The Apprentice, so all in all it has been a pretty happy week.

Self improvement

The first piece of self improvement this week, that I am particularly proud of, is that Annie and I managed to clean and tidy the spare/baby room.  Four bin bags of rubbish removed is quite an achievement for a couple of terrible hoarders.  I must admit to feeling a certain amount of "nesting" urges myself, if only it weren't so difficult.

I've also started worrying more about things I hadn't thought that much of before.  We've started buying our vegetables from a local organic supplier, meaning that veg has travelled no farther than 30 miles or so and there's not been any nasty chemicals spread about the place (They do a blog http://kentvegbox.wordpress.com/author/kentvegbox/ which is mostly about the food in the boxes but also about food standards in general).  I've also developed a slight composting obsession, although until I can afford a nice big compost bin for the garden as the small bucket is already full.  I would like to aim to only dispose of one bag of rubbish a week.  I am determined to reduce our families costs and environmental impact and it's always nice to learn some new way of helping.

Despite my best efforts to curb my slightly judgemental nature, there are just too many strong opinions that I can't get over.  I've always been firmly of the view that people, by and large, are entitled to think, speak and do whatever they please, but I can't help just feeling they're wrong.  While I'm aware that the pressures of parenthood may mean that certain ideals may be compromised, but I am fairly determined to start off on the right foot.

Talking of improvement it would appear that the Lib-Dems have finally done something of some use, which makes a nice change.  While it might be difficult for companies to deal with, at least initially, it is a step towards giving parents better options and equality.

I have worried from the start of the pregnancy that the amount of time I spend travelling to/from and at work each day might be hard for me and the baby.  However, drawing from my childhood experiences I can hope that it's not so bad for the baby.  My mum used to leave the house at 6 and get back at 8 and I know it was hard for her, so I know I can expect that, but I also know that it was good for me.  I think it is good for kids to have a parent looking after them at an early age, rather than be in a nursery at 6 months.  In my childhood experience it also helped to reinforce my relationship with my mum as time together was important and truly treasured.  Therefore I hope that with a lot of love and by making the effort to be a good dad when I am at home, it is a bond that I can replicate with my child.

The time for our next scan is moving ever closer and the tension is mounting.  I am starting to come round to Annie's point of view that it is a girl...time will tell.  Either way I am looking forward to the day when this blog is all about how excited I am that our little boy/girl did its first sneeze, yawn, giggle etc.

"Papa's got a brand new bag"

To follow on from last week's post, Annie has more or less finished her bag project.

  

From left-right (Front, inside, back).  The only thing that really needs sorting now, is a shoulder strap, but that's not too urgent given that we're 5 months off of needing to use it.  I was immensely impressed with how good a job Annie did and I think it looks good too (manly enough that I can take it around as well).  Unfortunately this did lead to some interest from other mums in Annie's "Due in October" group, which Annie was quick to snuff out as it really is a lot of bother and would require a hefty charge, given that the fabric isn't cheap and it wasn't easy to do.


We recently found out that a couple we know are pregnant, which they have been keeping under their hats.  They have told all their close family and friends but when asked why they didn't want to announce anything on Facebook, they said that they wanted it all to be personal.  It got me thinking about different peoples' attitude towards the publicity of their baby and pregnancy.  Annie has obviously thought about this as well and conducted a brief survey in the group that she belongs to.

As is logical, I suppose, it seems that for every person who wants to Tweet their scan picture as soon as they get it, there's one who thinks that is too personal.  For every person who wants to tell the world everything, there's another who would rather keep it all between themselves and immediate family.  Obviously Annie and I have been vocal about our experiences from as soon as we found out, and not that there's a right and wrong way to do things, but it seems to work for us personally.

In my opinion it is a fantastic outlet for pregnant couples to be outspoken about their pregnancy.  I know that in Annie's group there are a lot of shared experiences, ranging from physical symptoms, to emotional problems, to marital problems and to other issues that are not always too savoury.  Pregnancy is undoubtedly a strange and stressful time and to share these experiences is not only helpful but can be fun as well.

In typical fashion though it is the female gender that is much better at communicating these thoughts and feelings and the men are left to be quiet and cagey about everything.  This is one of the main reasons that I like to do this blog.  I've never been particularly good at gathering and sorting my thoughts, but to sit down and try and write about a topic or event is helpful in processing all the information, and quite therapeutic.  Still I can't help but feel like the same sort of attitude that the pregnant ladies in Annie's group show would be helpful if it were more present in a large group of men.  It is always fantastic to talk things over with your partner, and we talk about a lot of baby related stuff, but it is also nice to find common ground with other people in your position.  Besides, I think that as well as benefiting the expectant fathers, the mothers like it when their partner shows that amount of interest in the pregnancy - A man joined one of the cloth nappy groups on Facebook recently and there were mothers cooing and swooning all over the place, so if nothing else, men should think of it that way.  For the time being I'll have to settle for being nosey about what's going in the mum's group.

Strange week.

It's been a little over a week since I last did a post.  Unfortunately I was feeling rather ill on Monday night and Tuesday so I took Tuesday off.  Then on Wednesday I still felt ill but had a tight chest and decided it as best not to go to work then either.  On Thursday it was Annie's next midwife appointment.  Despite the pain in my chest getting worse I decided I'd like to go along to hear the heartbeat.

It was lovely to hear the heartbeat for myself, as I've only heard it on video before.  It was really strong and sounded a lot like a horse trot and was impressively loud.  Unfortunately I could enjoy it fully as the pain in my chest was really bad and I had started to get a nerve pain in my arm.  I'm not one for worrying about my health but even I have to concede that that combination of symptoms is usually something pretty bad.

When we returned home, the first thing I did was check on the NHS website about what could be going on, and after a few questions it suggested in no uncertain terms that I should call an ambulance.  I would always be wary of calling an ambulance unnecessarily as I know they get their time wasted a lot, but I thought better of driving myself to A&E.  As we live about 10 minutes from the hospital, they were here in a jiffy.  It was their opinion based on the fact that I didn't look too bad that I was another young man that was paranoid about his heart, after recent tragic events, but they said they'd hook me up to the ECG machine and take my blood pressure anyway.

The paramedics pulled out a pack of those little sticky pads you always see on people on TV and stuck those to my chest and ankles, then they put a blood pressure cuff around my arm, told me to stand up and turned it on.  At this point I felt as close to passing out as I ever have and started getting light headed, feel sick and started to cold-sweat and go green.  They sat me back down, performed the ECG.

"Well, well, well, well" said one of the Paramedics.  "He's alright then?" Annie asked.  "No, definitely not!" was the reply.  They suspected I had an infection of the heart muscle and that it was causing it to beat softly, leading to low blood pressure, meaning that when I stood up with a cuff on my arm and 3 people crowded round me, I would feel like passing out.  So they fetched a chair from the Ambulance and took me off.

Anyway to cut a long story short, the Paramedic was right and that was exactly what was wrong with me, I had/have Pericarditis, which Annie pointed out was almost named after me (a joke relayed via the Paramedic to the A&E nurse;she didn't find it amusing).  The long and short of it is, lots of little sticky pads and graphs of my heartbeat, lots of blood pressure tests, some Ibuprophen for the inflammation and a week off work.

Other than that, it's not been a bad week, the electrician came round while I was feeling terrible and proceeded to tell us what an absolute death trap our house was, due to what looked like some DIY electrics from the previous owners, so that's all been put right.  We've also had a little time for some more baby shopping.  Baby-shopping desire is definitely in full flow now, as you can see by the picture on the right, we already have:

Baby purchases so far.

• Changing table
• Moses basket
• Blankets
• Plenty of clothes
• Some bottles (they were a very good price)
• Plenty of cloth nappies
• A host of other more boring things like disposable nappies, wipes etc.

Having said that, we have managed to do most of these things for little money, the changing table was a fiver on ebay, the Moses basket was a fiver from the charity shop, the nappies were various prices second hand (thanks to the cloth nappy pages on Facebook) and the clothes have either been supermarket, sale or charity shop (got some cute dungarees, every child needs them).

Annie starting work on her changing bag project.

As well as this, Annie is taking up a project to make us a changing bag.  She decided that what's on the market is either overpriced or simply not good enough.  This is especially the case if you use cloth nappies as they take up a lot more space than your Pampers/Huggies.  So far she is doing well, and is certainly impressing herself with her lovely straight seams.

All in all it's been a real mixture of lovely baby-based news/activity and lots of illness and stress, which is hopefully all done now.  We now have just over 3 weeks to wait for the next scan, which Annie is awaiting with great patience.  We are fairly sure of the names we would pick for a boy and a girl now (although I am sworn to secrecy), but you can never tell whether they'll change.  At the moment all that's required is a little bit more patience.

The name game.

As baby fever gathers momentum, we've started to think about names.  Annie is part of a group, on Facebook, that is for people due to give birth in October 2012.  This is a common topic on there and has clear unwritten rules whereby prospective mothers don't actually divulge their true feelings towards each other's suggestions.  I think the purpose of this is so that you don't offend someone else's choices and in turn they won't make derogatory comments about your suggestions either.

Anyway, while we realise it's unlikely we'll decide on a name now and actually go all the way to birth with that name, it is nevertheless fun to have a think about it and get an idea of the sort of common ground that you share  in the naming arena.

I'm convinced that one of the biggest decisions you make in life is the naming of your child(ren).  It is something that sticks with them forever, it has an effect on how they and others view you and your child and most importantly they've got to like it when they're older.  It's good if it's not too common, but not so obscure that it's annoying (no-one likes the names of celebrity kids, do they?), it's probably nice if it can have a meaning that is also nice, and quite importantly it shouldn't remind you of someone unpleasant (you couldn't, for example, call your child Adolf - I'm aware he was more than unpleasant, but it makes a point).  It's also an added bonus if the name can be shortened (I know I often wanted a nickname when I was a kid and the best I ever got was Pezza, Pez or Pel.  Disappointing I think you'll agree, and I was never going to get a character name like "Tiny" as I'm not tall enough).  Another bonus is if you can pick a name that will suit a baby and will also will suit an adult.

Our main problem seems to be picking a name that isn't too upper or middle class (which we're not particularly) but I find it very difficult to think of many I like that aren't.  Another is that we'd rather not have a very Christian name (Stephen, David, Jesus etc.) as we're not religious and apart from anything it seems a little unfair on those that are.  Annie seems to find it harder to think of boys' names than girls' - which she has a lot of ideas for.

While not exactly a short list, we have had a few ideas, that Annie has written down in her pregnancy diary book.  Amongst others, for a girl: Zoë (I like this one because I think it's exotic and fun to have an umlaut in your name, Ivy (which I like because it's Earthy and not too common) and Katie (which I think just has a nice sound).  A few of the boy name ideas are: Oscar (maybe a bit posh), Hugo (one I liked but Annie went off) and Adrian (quite easily shortened to Ade.  We thought this might lead to people thinking of Ade Edmonson, but then thought that by the time the child is old enough to go to school few people would make such a connection).  One which was rather unfortunately ruled out was Robin (Robin Swift is just silly).

One area where you can be a little more expressive is middle names, as these are barely used.  I am still unsure as to whether to use the fact that my middle names are Francis Roland as reason to be kinder to my child or whether to exact vengeance by giving them a middle name (or names) that will be equally hilarious when read out at school.  I think I will avoid temptation and be lenient.  Middle names also seem a good opportunity to add a family name or two in there.  If we are to follow this route we have choices of: John, Colin and Raine from Annie's side of the family for a boy; Christopher, David, Francis and Reginald from mine.  If it is a girl, Marie, Florence and Jane on Annie's side; Sheila, Rose, Anne and Frances (again) on my side.

As you can see from this rambley entry, as per usual, it is definitely a minefield and not a task to be undertaken lightly.  I can only hope that we see our baby and a name immediately springs to mind, but for the moment while it is still in utero, Pip will do.

Giving in.

It's been a little over a week since the last post, but seems like forever.  I (or we) seem to be in a weird sort of time zone where days or weeks seem to go slow but then in retrospect everything is going really fast and we're up to the 14 week point tomorrow.  It's very strange.

As I said on my previous post we decided that that was the point we could buy our first baby thing.  Our intention has been to slowly add to the things that we need and want over the course of the pregnancy.  It turns out that we decided and what we actually do are slightly different.  My Mum came to stay with us this week (which she likes to do when she can) and which can sometimes result in her and Annie going to do a little shopping.

On this particular occasion they went to the Ashford Outlet - "offering designer labels at discount prices" - and as it turns out my Mum is also holding back a desire to purchase baby stuff.  So after I nipped out on my lunch break to go and see 'The Scream' (probably my favourite painting) I gave Annie a call and she excitedly told me about the baby things they purchased.  As you can see they made a few purchases; two rather natty baby grows from Petit Bateau (still eye-wateringly expensive despite it being an outlet) and a Moses basket from the local charity                                                                                                                                                                                                           shop at the cheap-as-chips price of a fiver, which means all we need to get is a rocking stand, a good mattress and some different blankets.

This spurred Annie and I on to go and look around the shops some more.  The main drawback of getting baby shopping urges at this early stage is the fact that you don't know the sex.  So as lovely and tempting as the clothes may be and no matter how good a bargain something might be, you can't really get the things that you want.  I can only imagine how much time we're going to spend hunting for baby clothes after the twenty week scan (which is scheduled for 25th May, by the way).

As Annie is starting to feel a little more comfortable in terms of sickness now, she let me take a photo (she looks more gorgeous with each passing day to me - she refuses to accept it), which was taken today at 13 weeks 6 days (I'm going to round that up to 14 weeks).  She's been confidently claiming that if she gets a little bit of a belly at the end of the day after a large meal, it's gone again the next morning.  She made such a declaration when my Mum kindly took us out for a slap up meal at a fantastic gastro-pub, called The Wheel near Ashford.  However the bump had not gone down significantly by the next day...or the one after that.  It seems that it's getting to the sort of time when she's going to start showing a real bump, real fast.  Another thing that you might pick up from the picture is an insatiable desire for Fruit Pastille lollies, which are one of the few things that are consistently good at keeping out nausea.



We sat down last night to watch the controversial pilot episode of the "comedy" programme Derek, which we decided wasn't offensive in the slightest, but should definitely contain a warning message to pregnant ladies as it left Annie in fits of tears (it made me cry a bit as well, but Annie's not allowed to see that).

For my part it's been a particularly busy and stressful week at work.  As well as this I am trying to push myself to study for the dreaded CIMA exams I'm going to take in June, which is also very stressful and a bit of a struggle, both in terms of content and motivation.  However, I've got a fantastic stress management tool in Annie and the baby.  I only have to think of them and it instantly calms me down and I remember just how lucky and happy I am at everything that's going on in my life.  I might not enjoy all the work but everything else is going just as I hoped it would, I can't wait to meet the baby and I can't wait to be a Dad.

First trimester down.

Today was one of the biggest days of the pregnancy so far, the dating scan.  Luckily we found out that the first date we were given was bang-on.  This means we are 12 weeks and 4 days now and due on the 14th of October (10 days before my birthday), but I'll come back to the scan.

It's been a big week overall, on Monday we took delivery of the tumble dryer (courtesy of the mother-in-law).  Sad as it may be, this was a very exciting event and one which was a vital step in preparing to be the laundrette for babies that we are due to become mid-October.

Anyway today was the big day, we had been looking forward to for weeks.  We made sure to turn up at the hospital 10 minutes early, as instructed, and mazed our way around the hospital until we reached the ultrasound department.  We were a little alarmed that it was so busy, but much to the dismay of the waiting throng we got called in, just after I got told off for trying to snoop at people's personal details (when in actual fact I was merely interested in the nice thank you cards that people had sent to the maternity unit, that were displayed on the wall).

Baby pulling the classic "nicky-nicky-na-na" pose.
We think it might have been aimed at the radiographer.

The radiologist (I hope that's the right nomenclature) promptly sat Annie on the bed and I took a seat of my own.  So the nurse squirts the nice cold gel on Annie's belly and sets about the scan.  She promptly finds the baby, just chilling...upside down.  She kindly informed us that this is normal and the baby looks very healthy but that it needs to be horizontal or at very least vertical in the normal position in order to measure the neck for the Downs Syndrome test.

We were informed that if the baby didn't wake up and move into the correct position quick smart that we would need another appointment to get the test done.  Luckily the nurse was very patient and there are a number of techniques that can encourage the baby to move around.  The first was a nice little dance, the nurse tried again, the baby didn't move.  The second was to empty the bladder, the nurse tried again, the baby didn't move.  The third was to pop off and get a coffee, the nurse tried again, the baby didn't move.  When I say didn't move, I mean didn't move into position, the baby did wriggle.

The baby shortly before "cap-sizing" into headstand position.

Eventually after one particularly energetic jig the baby moved into a horizontal position, balancing on an 'A' shape in the uterus.  This was the opportunity to get the required measurement and just before she could get the image and do so, the baby did a sort of repeated kangaroo-kick motion and powered itself back into the upside-down position.  We thought we had it once again when the baby was coaxed into moving around, only to tilt backwards in a move that resembled the sinking of The Titanic and ended up upside-down again.

Anyway to cut a long story short the persistent nurse eventually got the required measurement and told us it was very good.  The next step was the dreaded blood test.  Annie dealt with it in her stride and the nurse administering the blood test was much chattier than the last one, which made the process a little easier.  Unfortunately she was only able to drain a piddly amount of blood but it turned out to be just enough.

It was really magical to see such a perfectly formed tiny little person in there.  It was amazing to see its little hand waving at us and its nose (which is already looking like mine - a bit worrying) and tiny feet.  Being on a little bit of a baby high we trekked off to further research prams at Babies R' Us.  There were quite a few prams to get hands-on with, most of which were completely terrible, however we did really like the B-Smart 3.  We also bought our first baby item (admittedly we couldn't wait until after the scan and made the purchase last weekend).  It's a gorgeous little Very Hungry Caterpillar jacket, which was on sale in Sainsbury's.

All-in-all there's been a lot of excitement, and of course there's much more to look forward to.

Beating hearts baby...

On Tuesday Annie had her final 'booking-in' appointment with the midwife, which involves going through family history, explaining the next steps and trying in vain to spot our guinea pig.

In London I was having a fairly miserable day at work, when Annie sent me a simple 20-second video clip that made me smile from ear to ear.  I was amazed at just how early you can hear a clear heartbeat and also at how fast it is.

This was the moment that it really hit me that we're going to have a baby this year, which sent my heart racing.  Although we have already had one scan there is something a little more abstract about seeing a greyscale image of something the size of a kidney bean* on a screen and something incredibly real about hearing the sound of the little fella/fellaess.

A week today is the second scan which I'm getting very excited about.  At this point apparently they can see arms, legs, fingers and eyes and stuff, which again is a sure fire sign of a living thing.  Also fun about the second scan is the opportunity to procure a hard copy image of your baby that you can keep in your wallet forever.  Now it's my turn to gleefully show others a picture of my baby in utero, and it's their turn to pretend that they can actually see it, a moment that is surely a proud day for any prospective parent?

Naturally I will do my utmost to get a picture of the scan uploaded at the earliest opportunity, and so will probably post again in about a week (one of the slowest of my life, I should imagine).

*while I'm on the topic, there seems to be some sort of bizarre food scale for measuring babies that appears of a number of reputable pregnancy websites.  While I am all for using fruit as a scale for creating the idea of the actual size of the baby, it has not been properly thought through.  It goes something like: a pip-a baked bean-a kidney bean-a lime-a plum-a cantaloupe melon-a banana-a grapefruit, at varying stages of the pregnancy.  Firstly there is little difference between a plum and a lime, secondly there are few grapefruits I have encountered that are greater than a cantaloupe melon and thirdly a banana is a completely different shape from anything else in the list AND is, at least to my mind, one of the most variably sized fruits that I can think of.  The system needs an overhaul. 

A little closer.

Today we are 10 weeks and 3 days which is starting to feel a bit closer to the end of the first trimester, somewhat like the feeling of a Thursday at work (conveniently).

Fortunately Annie's new anti-emetics seem to be doing the job, although still a bit hit and miss, and so she's able to think about and speak about the pregnancy a little more freely without it making her feel more nauseous.

Now the end of the first trimester is in sight, I've finally allowed myself to dip my toe in the vast sea of baby-commerce.  Everywhere you turn when looking at infant equipment there's a huge range of diverse product and prices.

One of the vows we made, even before the pregnancy, was that when we had a child we would use reusable nappies as it's a) nice to feel like you're doing the best for the environment that you can and b) the payback period for them is very low, given the extortionate disposable-nappie racket, and the good ones are usable from birth to the age so you only need to buy them once.  A lot of people still seem to think of disposable nappies as being huge white things made out of towling held together with an oversized safety pin.  However they are quite different now and are available in a wide range of colours and patterns (surely if it's between a baby in an ugly white rustly disposable nappy and a nice camouflage reusable nappy it's a no-brainer?)

As well as this there's some variety in materials, including cotton, woo, micro-fibre, bamboo and minky (still not sure what that is), all of which have different properties (most notably varying degrees of absorption).  Add to this the choice of adjustable poppers of velcro straps.  Disposable nappies are an area that we still not research before coming to a decision on what to go for.  There seems to be 2 basic choices: brand names, which look well engineered and well made but are at the top end of the market or the cheaper ones that are readily available on ebay, which look like they do the same job but there's always that doubt that it will live up to what you want (from what we've seen the ebay types have a better range of colours and patterns, so that gets my vote).  Despite the fact that nappies deal with one of the most unappealing aspects of babies, they are the item we're most excited about getting.

The other thing we've been looking at is a pram.  This is a consumer minefield like I've never witnessed before.  Most of the options seem completely over-engineered and at prices that could make your eyes water.  I fear that you won't really know what you require from a pram until you've got one and it doesn't really do what you need.

At the moment I think we need a pram that:

• Suitable for children from birth to when they don't need it (which in my view is earlier than most kids that I see, but that's a rant for another time).
• Is small enough to fit into the boot of a modest hatchback.
• Can face forward or backwards.
• Has proper padding for when the baby is lying flat.
• Has some decent wheels so that it's not rattling around the whole time and so that it doesn't feel like a supermarket trolley the day before its retirement.
• Comes with a car seat that can be attached to the chassis.

So as you can see to get this for a reasonable price is maybe not mission impossible but certainly missions improbable.  So far there I think the shortlist is :

• Obaby Monty Travel System - Berry - Good features, good price, doesn't look sturdy enough.
• OBaby ZeZu Travel System - Dotty Lime - Comes with full compliment of accessories, sturdy, much higher price tag.

At the moment these are the only 2 in serious contention, hopefully over the next few months we can see and test some others in person.  If I had my way it would probably be a little like this.

I realise it's probably too early to start thinking about prams, cots, nappies, mobiles etc. but some of it is just a bit too cute to resist.

Unfortunately I haven't updated the blog nearly as often as I'd like, so apologies for the fact that this has ended up as the ramblings of a loon, I will try and make it a bit neater next time.  We are currently waiting on the next scan date, which I am very excited about, having seen the little bean the first time a couple of weeks ago (partially because I'm still paranoid there could be 2 in there and that one was hiding behind the other in the first scan).

Until next time...