First trimester down.

Today was one of the biggest days of the pregnancy so far, the dating scan.  Luckily we found out that the first date we were given was bang-on.  This means we are 12 weeks and 4 days now and due on the 14th of October (10 days before my birthday), but I'll come back to the scan.

It's been a big week overall, on Monday we took delivery of the tumble dryer (courtesy of the mother-in-law).  Sad as it may be, this was a very exciting event and one which was a vital step in preparing to be the laundrette for babies that we are due to become mid-October.

Anyway today was the big day, we had been looking forward to for weeks.  We made sure to turn up at the hospital 10 minutes early, as instructed, and mazed our way around the hospital until we reached the ultrasound department.  We were a little alarmed that it was so busy, but much to the dismay of the waiting throng we got called in, just after I got told off for trying to snoop at people's personal details (when in actual fact I was merely interested in the nice thank you cards that people had sent to the maternity unit, that were displayed on the wall).

Baby pulling the classic "nicky-nicky-na-na" pose.
We think it might have been aimed at the radiographer.

The radiologist (I hope that's the right nomenclature) promptly sat Annie on the bed and I took a seat of my own.  So the nurse squirts the nice cold gel on Annie's belly and sets about the scan.  She promptly finds the baby, just chilling...upside down.  She kindly informed us that this is normal and the baby looks very healthy but that it needs to be horizontal or at very least vertical in the normal position in order to measure the neck for the Downs Syndrome test.

We were informed that if the baby didn't wake up and move into the correct position quick smart that we would need another appointment to get the test done.  Luckily the nurse was very patient and there are a number of techniques that can encourage the baby to move around.  The first was a nice little dance, the nurse tried again, the baby didn't move.  The second was to empty the bladder, the nurse tried again, the baby didn't move.  The third was to pop off and get a coffee, the nurse tried again, the baby didn't move.  When I say didn't move, I mean didn't move into position, the baby did wriggle.

The baby shortly before "cap-sizing" into headstand position.

Eventually after one particularly energetic jig the baby moved into a horizontal position, balancing on an 'A' shape in the uterus.  This was the opportunity to get the required measurement and just before she could get the image and do so, the baby did a sort of repeated kangaroo-kick motion and powered itself back into the upside-down position.  We thought we had it once again when the baby was coaxed into moving around, only to tilt backwards in a move that resembled the sinking of The Titanic and ended up upside-down again.

Anyway to cut a long story short the persistent nurse eventually got the required measurement and told us it was very good.  The next step was the dreaded blood test.  Annie dealt with it in her stride and the nurse administering the blood test was much chattier than the last one, which made the process a little easier.  Unfortunately she was only able to drain a piddly amount of blood but it turned out to be just enough.

It was really magical to see such a perfectly formed tiny little person in there.  It was amazing to see its little hand waving at us and its nose (which is already looking like mine - a bit worrying) and tiny feet.  Being on a little bit of a baby high we trekked off to further research prams at Babies R' Us.  There were quite a few prams to get hands-on with, most of which were completely terrible, however we did really like the B-Smart 3.  We also bought our first baby item (admittedly we couldn't wait until after the scan and made the purchase last weekend).  It's a gorgeous little Very Hungry Caterpillar jacket, which was on sale in Sainsbury's.

All-in-all there's been a lot of excitement, and of course there's much more to look forward to.

Beating hearts baby...

On Tuesday Annie had her final 'booking-in' appointment with the midwife, which involves going through family history, explaining the next steps and trying in vain to spot our guinea pig.

In London I was having a fairly miserable day at work, when Annie sent me a simple 20-second video clip that made me smile from ear to ear.  I was amazed at just how early you can hear a clear heartbeat and also at how fast it is.

This was the moment that it really hit me that we're going to have a baby this year, which sent my heart racing.  Although we have already had one scan there is something a little more abstract about seeing a greyscale image of something the size of a kidney bean* on a screen and something incredibly real about hearing the sound of the little fella/fellaess.

A week today is the second scan which I'm getting very excited about.  At this point apparently they can see arms, legs, fingers and eyes and stuff, which again is a sure fire sign of a living thing.  Also fun about the second scan is the opportunity to procure a hard copy image of your baby that you can keep in your wallet forever.  Now it's my turn to gleefully show others a picture of my baby in utero, and it's their turn to pretend that they can actually see it, a moment that is surely a proud day for any prospective parent?

Naturally I will do my utmost to get a picture of the scan uploaded at the earliest opportunity, and so will probably post again in about a week (one of the slowest of my life, I should imagine).

*while I'm on the topic, there seems to be some sort of bizarre food scale for measuring babies that appears of a number of reputable pregnancy websites.  While I am all for using fruit as a scale for creating the idea of the actual size of the baby, it has not been properly thought through.  It goes something like: a pip-a baked bean-a kidney bean-a lime-a plum-a cantaloupe melon-a banana-a grapefruit, at varying stages of the pregnancy.  Firstly there is little difference between a plum and a lime, secondly there are few grapefruits I have encountered that are greater than a cantaloupe melon and thirdly a banana is a completely different shape from anything else in the list AND is, at least to my mind, one of the most variably sized fruits that I can think of.  The system needs an overhaul. 

A little closer.

Today we are 10 weeks and 3 days which is starting to feel a bit closer to the end of the first trimester, somewhat like the feeling of a Thursday at work (conveniently).

Fortunately Annie's new anti-emetics seem to be doing the job, although still a bit hit and miss, and so she's able to think about and speak about the pregnancy a little more freely without it making her feel more nauseous.

Now the end of the first trimester is in sight, I've finally allowed myself to dip my toe in the vast sea of baby-commerce.  Everywhere you turn when looking at infant equipment there's a huge range of diverse product and prices.

One of the vows we made, even before the pregnancy, was that when we had a child we would use reusable nappies as it's a) nice to feel like you're doing the best for the environment that you can and b) the payback period for them is very low, given the extortionate disposable-nappie racket, and the good ones are usable from birth to the age so you only need to buy them once.  A lot of people still seem to think of disposable nappies as being huge white things made out of towling held together with an oversized safety pin.  However they are quite different now and are available in a wide range of colours and patterns (surely if it's between a baby in an ugly white rustly disposable nappy and a nice camouflage reusable nappy it's a no-brainer?)

As well as this there's some variety in materials, including cotton, woo, micro-fibre, bamboo and minky (still not sure what that is), all of which have different properties (most notably varying degrees of absorption).  Add to this the choice of adjustable poppers of velcro straps.  Disposable nappies are an area that we still not research before coming to a decision on what to go for.  There seems to be 2 basic choices: brand names, which look well engineered and well made but are at the top end of the market or the cheaper ones that are readily available on ebay, which look like they do the same job but there's always that doubt that it will live up to what you want (from what we've seen the ebay types have a better range of colours and patterns, so that gets my vote).  Despite the fact that nappies deal with one of the most unappealing aspects of babies, they are the item we're most excited about getting.

The other thing we've been looking at is a pram.  This is a consumer minefield like I've never witnessed before.  Most of the options seem completely over-engineered and at prices that could make your eyes water.  I fear that you won't really know what you require from a pram until you've got one and it doesn't really do what you need.

At the moment I think we need a pram that:

• Suitable for children from birth to when they don't need it (which in my view is earlier than most kids that I see, but that's a rant for another time).
• Is small enough to fit into the boot of a modest hatchback.
• Can face forward or backwards.
• Has proper padding for when the baby is lying flat.
• Has some decent wheels so that it's not rattling around the whole time and so that it doesn't feel like a supermarket trolley the day before its retirement.
• Comes with a car seat that can be attached to the chassis.

So as you can see to get this for a reasonable price is maybe not mission impossible but certainly missions improbable.  So far there I think the shortlist is :

• Obaby Monty Travel System - Berry - Good features, good price, doesn't look sturdy enough.
• OBaby ZeZu Travel System - Dotty Lime - Comes with full compliment of accessories, sturdy, much higher price tag.

At the moment these are the only 2 in serious contention, hopefully over the next few months we can see and test some others in person.  If I had my way it would probably be a little like this.

I realise it's probably too early to start thinking about prams, cots, nappies, mobiles etc. but some of it is just a bit too cute to resist.

Unfortunately I haven't updated the blog nearly as often as I'd like, so apologies for the fact that this has ended up as the ramblings of a loon, I will try and make it a bit neater next time.  We are currently waiting on the next scan date, which I am very excited about, having seen the little bean the first time a couple of weeks ago (partially because I'm still paranoid there could be 2 in there and that one was hiding behind the other in the first scan).

Until next time...

Not been lazy.

It seems like forever since I last posted something on here but unfortunately it's not down to laziness.

I had to take the missus to the hospital on Tuesday 6th as a bit of research and common sense indicated that it probably isn't that normal or healthy to be vomiting 3-5 times a day.

We sat around in A&E for a while before being taken off and Annie was given a lie down and listened to a Transylvanian nurse make innumerable jokes about his origin and the fact that he needed to take blood.  Annie coped very well with the situation and was kept in for 2 nights for fluids and antiemetics.

This gave us a chance to scout out the midwives at the hospital, who are a helpful and happy lot, so that provides some comfort for later in the pregnancy.  Annie did very well despite the fact that she wasn't allowed to eat for 24 hours and was feeling very hungry, so there was a huge sense of relief when she was finally permitted some solids.

There was a period of time where we were kept on the edge of our seat/hospital bed when the nurse dropped a "bad sickness early on can be a sign of twins" bomb before declaring we'd have to wait until the next day to have our first scan.  Fortunately there was only 1 bean-shaped thing in there but it was dated as a week shy of what we thought.

Since Thursday night Annie has been doing very well and is now eating and drinking properly again and has had a chance to enjoy some of the fine weather that's come around unexpectedly.  Hopefully this means no more admission to hospital until the time is right.

Another mad week...

Ok, so we're up to 7 weeks and 3 days now.  It's going quickly which is fortunate given how the poor mother-to-be is feeling.  I suppose it's sod's law that the emetophobic doesn't just get morning-sickness, but all-day sickness.  For that reason it is unlikely that I'll be doing a weekly picture for the time being, but maybe around the 14 week mark or something.

Despite all the feeling awful Annie has done really well in getting over it this weekend and we had a mini day out today.  We took a short drive down to Dungeness, mostly to see Derek Jarman's garden which is really interesting, as is Dungeness on the whole.  On the long approach all the bare trees and brown grass merging with pebbles seems a bit ghost-town, then we passed an old woman on a mobility scooter, come trike with about 5 small dogs in tow, which really cemented the surrealness of the place.  Then we stopped off at a farm shop for a snack and some tea.

In more pregnancy related news we have received a letter confirming our first midwife appointment for March 15th which at the moment seems like a long time away but I'm sure will come right round like a record.  I'm finding that the people close to us are up to the "Do you want to know the sex" stage, I've been certain that I would like to know since the beginning.  Next I suppose everyone at work will find out.  My mother-in-law who is also my boss (nothing wrong with a little nepotism) is doing budgets for the year and I feel too bad to make her leave out my paternity cover so I've got a bombardment of questions to look forward to there.

Unfortunately for my Grandparents they went to Benidorm the day after we told them (I'm not sure how unfortunate that is, sun, sea, all the food and booze they can eat and drink) and so we received a call from them today, post-dinner, desperate to find out the latest news (so much so they were happy to pay for an international call from a mobile!).

I've been feeling desperate to help Annie feel a little better and I think a fun day out and some back rubbing and hair stroking seems to be doing the trip.  In return, Annie has been hugely supportive and sat and watched the whole 135 minutes of Carling Cup, Liverpool v Cardiff final...that is an achievement not to be sniffed at.

We're both hoping that things get a little better for Annie soon, but she's very strong and I know she'll take what this pregnancy throws at her (hopefully not more dreams about giving birth to a cat!  That's another story).

Already going fast...

Well it's been an entire week since we found out that a baby is-a-brewing.  That week felt like no time at all, in a way this feels a little scary (the house needs to be sorted out, there's money to save and general preparation), in some ways it's good (I'm very impatient and want these 9 months to go as quickly as possible).

I've had a week to digest the news, try and learn about pregnancy and babies and all the stuff.  In a week I have not managed to get my head around the dating of a pregnancy at all, the test said 2-3 weeks last week, so then it was 2.5 weeks in my mind.  The next thing was Annie telling me it's not that simple, so we looked up online and it seemed it was roughly 1-2 weeks on top of what the test says, so that's around 4-5 weeks.  Then Annie had her first docs appointment and now it's meant to be 6 weeks, the mind boggles.

The other thing I have learnt is that symptoms can onset really quite early on in the pregnancy.  Annie already is experiencing nausea, which seems to become more acute at an alarming rate, an almost super-human sense of smell and (possibly the worst from my point of view) a large selection of different food types that are extremely unappealing.

Taken at 5 weeks and 4 days.

While I know that most people would be promoting female independence in pregnancy, it's a tough proposition when I'm around.  I've been maintaining a strict regime of 5 portions of fresh fruit and veg a day and nice healthy dinners but making food appealing is certainly a challenge.

Unfortunately, us both being impatient by nature means that the fact the midwife has not called in 2.5 days is nail biting and I know I speak for myself when I say that I can't wait for the first scan (somewhere between 10 and 14 weeks if I'm not mistaken), so I suppose I had better get used to suspense.

Anyway, it seems a nice idea to document the stages of 'baby-bump' (not there yet) so below is a picture that I took of the mother-to-be on Monday and lazily failed to put up until now.  Next time it will be a little more punctual.

Calm down, dear...

After approx 36 hours of knowing that I'm going to be a father I am, I suppose naturally, all over the place with my feelings.

The obvious initial emotion, was excitement coupled with a healthy dose of shock.  Thankfully the shock has subsided a bit now and I'm left with the excitement more than anything.  After not long, I noticed a certain sense of pride, a certain "well done me" type of thing (in the least crude way possible).

It was unbelievably soon that I started annoying Annie with my persistent "be careful!", "don't walk on the ice!", "make sure you can eat that!" directions.  As it turns out I'm incredibly protective and obviously much more into ''ealth and safety' than I thought.

I think I'm just being over-paranoid now though, I've started a weird sort of paradox where I start worrying when Annie feels OK.  When she's feeling a bit sick or she complains of sore boobs or something, I feel secure that everything is progressing as normal.  As soon as I inquire "how are you feeling" and the response is "yeah, fine" I start to panic that all is not as it should be, before being told "you don't always feel bad, and it's not a good thing if you do".

I can see that I'm going to have to get used to this, dealing-with-a-pregnant-lady, lark.  One step at a time.

"I am your father"...well...will be...

Friday 10th February 2012 was a standard Friday at work.  It was a relatively slow day and I was looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend.  Things perked up as soon as I booked tickets for the opening night of Star War Episode 1 in 3D.  I had been looking forward to it all day (this is nerdy apparently) but was a little unhappy that Annie had been telling me she felt sick all day.

17:15 finally arrives and began my long journey home.  Upon return home, there was the usual matter of tending to the rabbits and scoffing some nosh before eagerly jumping in the car to go to the cinema.

The film went as planned and was every bit as good as the first 2 times my Dad took me to see it and the 1 time my Grandad took me to see it when I was 11.  After the film Annie asked me if we could swing by Sainsbury's as she'd been feeling a bit sick and she was *ahem* late (man terms).

When we got home Annie went upstairs, as apparently she hadn't been to the bathroom for hours, and unwrapped the Clearblue test.  There was a sense of foregone conclusion about the result, both when purchasing the test and taking it.  However on this occasion Annie shrieked as the test came up with a bold vertical line and a familiar thin horizontal line crossing it.  Ever the pessimist I told her that we shouldn't get too over-excited as it takes a while to give the true result, all the time sporting a huge grin.

After the prescribed 2 minutes that big fat line wasn't going away.  We instantly beamed at each other and wrapped our arms around one another.  Apparently it's not a great idea to take the test and find out you are pregnant with your first child, just before bed time.  We stayed up for hours and talked about the future and who we would tell and when.

The next day we invested in a digital Clearblue test *thanks Clubcard vouchers*.  There was a niggle at the back of our heads that said "that first test was wrong" and we waited eagerly for about 30 seconds until it flashed up "pregnant" and then waited with some relief until it informed us that we were 2-3 weeks along.

Later on came the daunting task of informing our loved ones and friends.  I had to wait to inform my family (as my Mum was on a plane to Abu Dhabi).  In the mean time Annie returned the favour to her sister (who confided in Annie first as soon as she found out that she was expecting), informed her mother and father who seemed genuinely excited and pleased for us, which is just what you want to hear.

When I received the text from my Mum saying that she had landed and I could call, I did.  I went through the typical manly protocol of making a bit of small talk before beating around the bush before procrastinating a little more.  Finally I made the announcement, unfortunately I think the shock, the stress of the job, some fatigue and of course some doubt meant a lukewarm reception.  I think as the news set in so did a bit of excitement.  I'm hoping that will show more and more.

Next I decided to speak with my Dad.  This time I plumped for significantly less dilly-dallying.  I'm not sure "you're going to be a Grandad" were the words my father expected to hear this evening.  As expected I didn't receive an over-enthused reception.  I'm well aware that both of my parents are a little doubtful over our age and the step we're taking.  While fully understanding, I think I'd regret it if I hadn't taken those risks before.  People think that 22 is too young to get married but it was by far the best decision I have ever made.

The final step was to call my Grandparents and drop the bomb on them.  This was the safe bet for a bit of excitement.  I was not disappointed; "you're going to be great-grandparents later this year" was greeted by "wow that's great news" from my Grandad, shortly followed by "that's t'riffic, t'riffic, well done".  My Aunt was there to provide some more congratulations which were lovely to hear.  My Nan was the next callee in the musical phone game.  Apparently she's now feeling younger as a result of the news and is very, very excited.  So much so that I was subject to an unexpected "he's got a bit of lead in his pencil" (that's not what you want to hear).

All in all it's been a good week, there was the Anfield Cat, 'Arry Redknapp took a huge step towards the England manager job and the hottest parents on the scene; Jay-Z and Beyonce, revealed pictures of their somewhat unusually named baby.  And now this, how could it get any better?

Introduction...

Hello, my name's Perry.

I have been with my partner, Annie, for 5 years now and married in July 2011, one of many big steps taken at a young age (we were 22 and 20 at the time). 6 months later, we have just found out that we are expecting our first child.

I wanted to create this blog to provide some insight into the feelings and experiences of a young man going through pregnancy with his partner, so I hope that it will provide a somewhat different viewpoint.