Vega Rose Swift.

Upon waking on Saturday morning Annie had reconsidered her position on not knowing the sex of the baby to: "I must know the sex of my baby".  I have to agree that when so many people do get to find out the sex of their baby, it is hard to take when someone tells you that you can't.  So given that I was desperate to know (and I'm a sucker for an unhappy wifey), I thought I may as well see if it was possible to get a private scan.

I gave a call to our local private scanning place and asked what sort of notice they normally need for a gender scan.  When told that the normal wait is 2 weeks I was quite worried that: (a) it would be an unbearable amount of tension if waiting 2 weeks and (b) how on earth do you tell an upset pregnant lady that she has to wait that long. Fortunately she said that someone had cancelled at 10:30 on Sunday 27th May (thank you whoever you are).

Unfortunately I get a little apprehensive when I'm in a position where I know something big is going to happen and constantly bombard Annie with "Do you think they'll see on this attempt?",  "What if they can't tell on this attempt, and they can't tell on the next one?", "how likely is it the baby will be in the right position 2 days later?".  I imagine this gets a little testing at times.

Roll on the next morning (and Annie waking me up at 3am and talking to me for half an hour, mostly out of excitement) and my Mum confirms that she'll be able to make it over to Ashford to take advantage of the fact that you're allowed visitors in the scan.  We drove down the scanning studio - nice and early - and sat around waiting outside.  The 2 ladies that run the place turned up nice and promptly and led us upstairs to the studio, which is a nice mix of professional and personal.

We were led into the scanning room and Annie hopped straight up onto the bed, "Dad" and "Nan" were directed to their seats (I get a special one cuz I'm so important :D).  The equipment looked a lot more flash than the NHS stuff (as I suppose it would if your business is to make money out of it).  The technician got going and within about 30-40 seconds announced that it was a girl, producing a huge Cheshire cat grin on Annie's face.  As well as the unabated joy of finding out that I was going to be a father to a baby girl, it was also nice to be shown the bladder, kidneys and heart of the baby as well (which is something we were not afforded in our NHS scan).

The next part was the "4D" scan (which I always thought was misleading; as in my experience 4D is the sort of thing you get at Disneyland where there's a film shown in 3D and when there is an earthquake on the screen, your seat rumbles.  In the world of scanning a 4D scan is basically a moving 3D scan).

When presented with other peoples 3D pictures, I never quite understood the appeal and pretty much thought that it was no more special than a regular 2D scan.  However when they switch the scanner over to 3D and you can see the contours of your baby's face, when they open their eyes and mouth and if they grab their foot with their hands and put it near their head (all of the above), a 3D scan is pretty magic and makes you feel that much closer to your unborn child.

Baby Vega having a yawn and
having a stretch.

So although I am disappointed that we didn't get to find out the sex of our baby at our anomaly scan - despite the fact that you can obviously find out the sex when the baby is in breech position (I think the sonographer was just miserable and didn't make the effort) - it was great to see the baby again, in 3D, and be shown all the body parts, find out the gender and to do it all in a friendly, welcoming and relaxing environment.  I would definitely recommend a gender scan, if you can.  And if you live near Ashford I would definitely recommend Baby Scan Studio.  I should also thank my Mum (again) for volunteering to pay for it as it really has made us very, very happy bunnies.  Thanks Mum.

Our perfect little girl, asleep.

So I give you Baby Vega.  She's my daughter and I love her!

The big day!

Today is the day!  Today is the day we have been waiting for since we found out we were pregnant in week 5.  Today is the day we find out the gender...or not as it turns out.

We have known since well before we even started trying for a baby that we wanted to know the sex when it came to the 20 week scan. 

We got to the hospital, just about on time, and found our way to the ultrasound room - the nice air conditioned ultrasound room (it was 24 degrees C outside).  After about 20 minutes of prodding the nurse declared that she had everything she needed and that as she had been saying all along, the baby is sitting on its bum and therefore is not allowing us to see if it's a boy or girl.

Initially Annie and I were incredibly disappointed that we couldn't tell what sex the baby was and were contemplating where we could find eighty-odd quid for a private gender scan.  I quickly came to the realisation thought, that I had been looking forward to the wrong thing.  All this time I had been thinking about going for our gender scan, whereas what I should have been looking forward to was an anomaly scan; and that's exactly what we got.  The results of our anomaly scan were all normal and perfectly healthy - although as it turns out also with quite a big head.

However we were still feeling a little deflated, but went to meet with my Mum and Nan in Tenterden.  We had a bit of a talk and a soft drink.  In a rather expensive baby shop my Mum bought us our first cuddly for the baby and my Nan bought us a lovely romper suit with green animals on it.  It was nice to get some good unisex clothes and certainly helped alleviate our disappointment.

By the early evening we had come around to idea of not knowing what sex we are having.  Apart from anything it means that we won't get loads of pink or blue clothes (a bit of a crusade that we're on :P) but hopefully more like the ones we have already.  It has also reaffirmed that we are happy to have a boy or a girl and that we are happy with our name choices - we will either have Vega Rose Swift or Adrian Frances Reginald Swift - I think that using my Grandparent's middle names in our child's means quite a lot to them.  

 

As well as the goings on today, it is also very nearly the half way point.  To think that we are 20 weeks into the pregnancy is very exciting (as well as a little scary).  As the time is flying by, we are starting to think more about when the REALLY BIG DAY arrives.  Annie is very passionate about having a water-birth and avoiding an epidural - which I am right behind.  Unfortunately the maternity led unit, the place that does the water births around here is under renovation and so we've got our fingers crossed that it will reopen in time, but Annie will talk it over with the midwife Thursday.

Annie is starting to pop out now and is looking particularly gorgeous and radiant, which happily coincides with the sunshine and bright summer clothes, and I finally got my compost bin (strangely happy with that) and Stephen finally got kicked off of The Apprentice, so all in all it has been a pretty happy week.

Self improvement

The first piece of self improvement this week, that I am particularly proud of, is that Annie and I managed to clean and tidy the spare/baby room.  Four bin bags of rubbish removed is quite an achievement for a couple of terrible hoarders.  I must admit to feeling a certain amount of "nesting" urges myself, if only it weren't so difficult.

I've also started worrying more about things I hadn't thought that much of before.  We've started buying our vegetables from a local organic supplier, meaning that veg has travelled no farther than 30 miles or so and there's not been any nasty chemicals spread about the place (They do a blog http://kentvegbox.wordpress.com/author/kentvegbox/ which is mostly about the food in the boxes but also about food standards in general).  I've also developed a slight composting obsession, although until I can afford a nice big compost bin for the garden as the small bucket is already full.  I would like to aim to only dispose of one bag of rubbish a week.  I am determined to reduce our families costs and environmental impact and it's always nice to learn some new way of helping.

Despite my best efforts to curb my slightly judgemental nature, there are just too many strong opinions that I can't get over.  I've always been firmly of the view that people, by and large, are entitled to think, speak and do whatever they please, but I can't help just feeling they're wrong.  While I'm aware that the pressures of parenthood may mean that certain ideals may be compromised, but I am fairly determined to start off on the right foot.

Talking of improvement it would appear that the Lib-Dems have finally done something of some use, which makes a nice change.  While it might be difficult for companies to deal with, at least initially, it is a step towards giving parents better options and equality.

I have worried from the start of the pregnancy that the amount of time I spend travelling to/from and at work each day might be hard for me and the baby.  However, drawing from my childhood experiences I can hope that it's not so bad for the baby.  My mum used to leave the house at 6 and get back at 8 and I know it was hard for her, so I know I can expect that, but I also know that it was good for me.  I think it is good for kids to have a parent looking after them at an early age, rather than be in a nursery at 6 months.  In my childhood experience it also helped to reinforce my relationship with my mum as time together was important and truly treasured.  Therefore I hope that with a lot of love and by making the effort to be a good dad when I am at home, it is a bond that I can replicate with my child.

The time for our next scan is moving ever closer and the tension is mounting.  I am starting to come round to Annie's point of view that it is a girl...time will tell.  Either way I am looking forward to the day when this blog is all about how excited I am that our little boy/girl did its first sneeze, yawn, giggle etc.

"Papa's got a brand new bag"

To follow on from last week's post, Annie has more or less finished her bag project.

  

From left-right (Front, inside, back).  The only thing that really needs sorting now, is a shoulder strap, but that's not too urgent given that we're 5 months off of needing to use it.  I was immensely impressed with how good a job Annie did and I think it looks good too (manly enough that I can take it around as well).  Unfortunately this did lead to some interest from other mums in Annie's "Due in October" group, which Annie was quick to snuff out as it really is a lot of bother and would require a hefty charge, given that the fabric isn't cheap and it wasn't easy to do.


We recently found out that a couple we know are pregnant, which they have been keeping under their hats.  They have told all their close family and friends but when asked why they didn't want to announce anything on Facebook, they said that they wanted it all to be personal.  It got me thinking about different peoples' attitude towards the publicity of their baby and pregnancy.  Annie has obviously thought about this as well and conducted a brief survey in the group that she belongs to.

As is logical, I suppose, it seems that for every person who wants to Tweet their scan picture as soon as they get it, there's one who thinks that is too personal.  For every person who wants to tell the world everything, there's another who would rather keep it all between themselves and immediate family.  Obviously Annie and I have been vocal about our experiences from as soon as we found out, and not that there's a right and wrong way to do things, but it seems to work for us personally.

In my opinion it is a fantastic outlet for pregnant couples to be outspoken about their pregnancy.  I know that in Annie's group there are a lot of shared experiences, ranging from physical symptoms, to emotional problems, to marital problems and to other issues that are not always too savoury.  Pregnancy is undoubtedly a strange and stressful time and to share these experiences is not only helpful but can be fun as well.

In typical fashion though it is the female gender that is much better at communicating these thoughts and feelings and the men are left to be quiet and cagey about everything.  This is one of the main reasons that I like to do this blog.  I've never been particularly good at gathering and sorting my thoughts, but to sit down and try and write about a topic or event is helpful in processing all the information, and quite therapeutic.  Still I can't help but feel like the same sort of attitude that the pregnant ladies in Annie's group show would be helpful if it were more present in a large group of men.  It is always fantastic to talk things over with your partner, and we talk about a lot of baby related stuff, but it is also nice to find common ground with other people in your position.  Besides, I think that as well as benefiting the expectant fathers, the mothers like it when their partner shows that amount of interest in the pregnancy - A man joined one of the cloth nappy groups on Facebook recently and there were mothers cooing and swooning all over the place, so if nothing else, men should think of it that way.  For the time being I'll have to settle for being nosey about what's going in the mum's group.

Strange week.

It's been a little over a week since I last did a post.  Unfortunately I was feeling rather ill on Monday night and Tuesday so I took Tuesday off.  Then on Wednesday I still felt ill but had a tight chest and decided it as best not to go to work then either.  On Thursday it was Annie's next midwife appointment.  Despite the pain in my chest getting worse I decided I'd like to go along to hear the heartbeat.

It was lovely to hear the heartbeat for myself, as I've only heard it on video before.  It was really strong and sounded a lot like a horse trot and was impressively loud.  Unfortunately I could enjoy it fully as the pain in my chest was really bad and I had started to get a nerve pain in my arm.  I'm not one for worrying about my health but even I have to concede that that combination of symptoms is usually something pretty bad.

When we returned home, the first thing I did was check on the NHS website about what could be going on, and after a few questions it suggested in no uncertain terms that I should call an ambulance.  I would always be wary of calling an ambulance unnecessarily as I know they get their time wasted a lot, but I thought better of driving myself to A&E.  As we live about 10 minutes from the hospital, they were here in a jiffy.  It was their opinion based on the fact that I didn't look too bad that I was another young man that was paranoid about his heart, after recent tragic events, but they said they'd hook me up to the ECG machine and take my blood pressure anyway.

The paramedics pulled out a pack of those little sticky pads you always see on people on TV and stuck those to my chest and ankles, then they put a blood pressure cuff around my arm, told me to stand up and turned it on.  At this point I felt as close to passing out as I ever have and started getting light headed, feel sick and started to cold-sweat and go green.  They sat me back down, performed the ECG.

"Well, well, well, well" said one of the Paramedics.  "He's alright then?" Annie asked.  "No, definitely not!" was the reply.  They suspected I had an infection of the heart muscle and that it was causing it to beat softly, leading to low blood pressure, meaning that when I stood up with a cuff on my arm and 3 people crowded round me, I would feel like passing out.  So they fetched a chair from the Ambulance and took me off.

Anyway to cut a long story short, the Paramedic was right and that was exactly what was wrong with me, I had/have Pericarditis, which Annie pointed out was almost named after me (a joke relayed via the Paramedic to the A&E nurse;she didn't find it amusing).  The long and short of it is, lots of little sticky pads and graphs of my heartbeat, lots of blood pressure tests, some Ibuprophen for the inflammation and a week off work.

Other than that, it's not been a bad week, the electrician came round while I was feeling terrible and proceeded to tell us what an absolute death trap our house was, due to what looked like some DIY electrics from the previous owners, so that's all been put right.  We've also had a little time for some more baby shopping.  Baby-shopping desire is definitely in full flow now, as you can see by the picture on the right, we already have:

Baby purchases so far.

• Changing table
• Moses basket
• Blankets
• Plenty of clothes
• Some bottles (they were a very good price)
• Plenty of cloth nappies
• A host of other more boring things like disposable nappies, wipes etc.

Having said that, we have managed to do most of these things for little money, the changing table was a fiver on ebay, the Moses basket was a fiver from the charity shop, the nappies were various prices second hand (thanks to the cloth nappy pages on Facebook) and the clothes have either been supermarket, sale or charity shop (got some cute dungarees, every child needs them).

Annie starting work on her changing bag project.

As well as this, Annie is taking up a project to make us a changing bag.  She decided that what's on the market is either overpriced or simply not good enough.  This is especially the case if you use cloth nappies as they take up a lot more space than your Pampers/Huggies.  So far she is doing well, and is certainly impressing herself with her lovely straight seams.

All in all it's been a real mixture of lovely baby-based news/activity and lots of illness and stress, which is hopefully all done now.  We now have just over 3 weeks to wait for the next scan, which Annie is awaiting with great patience.  We are fairly sure of the names we would pick for a boy and a girl now (although I am sworn to secrecy), but you can never tell whether they'll change.  At the moment all that's required is a little bit more patience.